1. A bicycle can’t stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead giveaway.

3. A backward poet writes inverse.

4. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

5. In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

6. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.

7. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

8. If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.

9. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN downunder.

No trees were killed in posting these puns, however a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

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