Uncrate | The Buyer’s Guide For Men
Blogged with the Flock Browser
Archive for April 11, 2009
Obama Reaches Out to ‘Moderate’ Pirate Community
After maintaining his silence for two days, President Obama will soon make his first public statement about the pirate attack upon an U.S.-flagged vessel off the Horn of Africa. After several inquiries and a few well-placed bribes, Exurban League has received an early transcript of the President’s remarks:
Image source. Good evening. As you know, early yesterday, Somali-based pirates attacked the Maersk Alabama, a freighter carrying relief supplies to Kenya. While we do not yet know all the details, the Alabama’s crew re-took control of the vessel and forced the pirates off the ship.
Since the pirates are still holding the captain, I have sent FBI negotiators to facilitate his safe and speedy release. I assure his friends and family that I will not stop until this man-made disaster is resolved in a peaceful, tolerant and ecologically-sound manner.
Obviously, this incident has raised many concerns among Americans. There have been calls for justice and even violence against the misguided perpetrators. But such an emotional reaction has led to the disparagement of entire groups with which we are unfamiliar. We have seen this throughout history.
For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.
The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.
Some of us wonder if our current Overseas Contingency Operation would even be needed had the last administration not been so quick to label Pirates as “thieves,” “terrorists” and worse. Such swashbucklaphobia can lead to tragic results, as we have seen this week.
To address this issue, I have instructed Vice President Joe Biden to create a cabinet-level Czar of Pirate Outreach and Buccaneer Interrelation. In addition, June 1-7 has been designated as Pirate Awareness Week, during which all federal buildings will fly the Jolly Roger and sponsor sensitivity training. Thankfully, my American Recovery and Reinvestment Act will fund free grog and hard tack for all attendees.
Finally, to all pirates listening to international broadcasts, shortwave services and ship-to-shore radio, let me say this:
Ahoy, me regret arr relationship has set sail in a scurvy manner. Arr people share many mutual ‘alues and concerns on t’ raging main. Perchance, could ye handsomely release the cap’n o’ the ship and I assure that no harm will come t’ ye or ye hearties. Let us smite t’ reset button and launch our seabond on a new pegleg. Savvy? Godspeed t’ ye and t’ ye beauties. Aye, me parrot concurs.
Blogged with the Flock Browser
If you paid a team of scientists to come up with a foodstuff designed to ruin the flavour of beer, they’d invent the olive. Olives steamroller through the flavours of all but the most intense and complex beers. In fact, we find that they make most beers taste like cheese. Eugh.
So, why are they so ubiquitous in British pubs? And why on Earth do we keep ordering them..?
Blogged with the Flock Browser
In this intermediate soft circuit tutorial, I show you how to make a light-up patch that can be used on your backpack for fun and bike safety. If you missed my LilyPad Arduino 101, you may want to watch that first. The theme of this year’s Maker Faire is “Re-Make America” so I thought I’d add some red, white, and blue LEDs to my messenger bag. I added them to a removable patch (from the fatlab, an artist collective I’m part of) so I can easily remove it at the airport, in the rain, etc. I used a rechargeable lithium polymer batter to power the whole thing because it’s flatter, lasts longer, and can be recharged instead of thrown away. I also made an Instructable where you can find links to all the supplies I used. You can download the source code and schematic for this project to get started on your own!
Blogged with the Flock Browser
Sterling James Estates 